Have you ever wondered what life was like for a penis and vagina?
What they thought as you go about your day to day life with them tucked safely away in your pants?
Well now’s your chance to find out exactly what your naughty bits are really thinking.
This hilarious romantic tale will reveal the deepest darkest thoughts of the most intimate parts of the human body. The ups and downs, the ins and outs, the highs and lows.
Having two brains is not just a myth, as you will discover in this journey of love, laughter, pleasure and pain.
Strap on your seatbelts because you are in for a hard, fast and naughty ride.
*Please note: This is a full length novel*
Mmm, what a peaceful morning.
I need this quiet moment after such a restless night, well … many restless nights lately. I feel a shift in her, something is changing and we know how we feel about change; we don’t like it! So to say I’m a little nervous, is an understatement. That’s it, a nice long stretch to wake the body up hun; let’s conquer the world today shall we? Let’s put the past few weeks behind us and start fresh, wait, what … no, not again! I am still raw from the three times last night! “Buzzzzzzzz…….”
You have got to be kidding me! Its Friday, can’t you just wait until we hit the bar later tonight with Zali and Mel? You know they help you make better choices with which junk you invite back here. We could get a good one tonight, no need to ruin me for that possibility! This is not the answer to all our problems … ah … hang on … ah … oh … what the hell. She won’t listen anyway. I might as well help to hurry this up, ride the wave and get this over and done with so we can get on with our day.
Okay … there we go … that’s the right place, just relax and I’ll get us there. That’s right; find your sexy happy place … oh yeah think of him, think Mr Uptight in a suit that dares to walk past us all snobby and smelling so freaking good every morning. Mmmm … oh yeah, if we get him alone we will start with his tie, dragging it from his neck nice and slowly and … ah … that’s it, that’s it, here it comes, let the tidal wave begin. Ahhhhhh … oh, oh, ohhhhh …. That’s what she needed.
We never do get past that damn tie!
Now to meet some suits in real life. I know exactly what she will wear to the office today; her uplifting outfit of that tight navy skirt, a little short for her liking but one that has a lot of eyes turning her way apparently. And she will match it with the white sleeveless silk shirt that shows off all her cleavage, the one Zali made her buy to try and catch the eye of Mr Uptight.
Ahh … Mr Uptight. He gives us real good feelings, but, he also makes a feel like crap on an almost daily basis too by acting as if we don’t exist! We have tried to ignore how handsome he is, how good he smells, how the hormones his body releases affects us the minute we are within a mile radius of him and how incredibly charming he can be to everything with a vagina, but us. On those days, when she witnesses him being so nice to everyone, then turns and gives her the cold shoulder, we don’t like the hormones that produces in us. We call them the Vodka days, cause that’s what we need the minute we get home, back to the non-judgemental, non-moody male, non-bias for some unknown god forsaken reason, cocoon of our apartment.
As much as I would love to get to know Mr Uptight’s junk intimately, he’s just not worth chasing if it results in a roller coaster ride of emotions, so, I will keep my pheromones in check and not spit them his way. What’s his freaking problem anyway? I know my girl is all kinds of hot, everyone tells her so, male and female, which she just brushes off shyly, but doesn’t he see what others see? We were nice and friendly to him when we first discovered his handsome aura in our work building, but let that die off after his continual coldness towards us. I know his not gay because he’s junk sends out bloody testosterone to almost everything that wreaks oestrogen. So what does he think is so wrong with us?
Fuck him. We don’t care; we can give a cold shoulder just as good as he can. And he’s not our ‘Mr Long Term Guy’ anyway. We want someone warm, someone who loves all of our faults, and someone who will support and encourage all of our dreams no matter how crazy they are. We want someone who will laugh with us and gently wipe away any tears. We want kindness and understanding and love. We want deep, soul reaching, heartbeat skipping, and constant wet panties kind of love. We know it’s out there … we are just looking in all the wrong places.
Okay, time to get our head out of the man zone and into work mode, because we pay our own bills, no man, toy boy or sugar daddy needs to take care of us. So to do that, we really need to haul our arse to work right now instead of looking in the bloody mirror. Let’s go earn some more dollars to spend on pretty shoes, oh yeah, like those red ones we couldn’t stop looking at last week. Oh, they gave us nice feelings.
Tania Cooper and Ricky Cooper are co-authors and besties, who just so happen to have the same surname, live on opposite sides of the world, Australia and the UK and skype almost daily to bring you their combined creativeness.
Their first collaboration came in the form of the dark and graphic Heaven’s Scent series. They share the same wicked sense of humour and a love of creative words as shown in their individual books.
They love to hear from their readers who share a passion for the written word in all shapes and sizes.